Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
