just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize