So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just cropdusted the office
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
