Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
