Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
