We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
