too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
