He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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