And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
