We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
