well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he thought i was a dude.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dear god my vagina.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
