Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
my liver is dry heaving
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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