They should really pass out barf bags in church
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
