New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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