Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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