I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize