Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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