i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
