Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
