North Korea, Best Korea!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
