I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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