White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
