This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
