Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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