im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
