I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
