happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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