I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you will always have a special place in my vag
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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