there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
