Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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