He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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