i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
