these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
