I need help removing her.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
