I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
