i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
