he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Congratulations! We have a period
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
