so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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