Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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