I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
