Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
