he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
