I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
