Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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