I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize