Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize