I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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