So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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