Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
