What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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