So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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