Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
