I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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