I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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