is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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