how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
