There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
