glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
