Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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