so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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