A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
