this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize