What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
