Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
