My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize