Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
