Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night

Fav 5 1706 908
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.

Fav 13 1218 1297
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(778): View more from British Columbia

You're perfectly engineered for doggy style

Fav 25 5989 988
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(402): View more from Nebraska

when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"

Fav 15 4901 4361
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(516): View more from New York

You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.

Fav 20 3817 1302
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(443): View more from Maryland

dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car

Fav 2 1548 1000
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(615): View more from Tennessee

You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.

Fav 4 604 1074
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(217): View more from Illinois

I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal

Fav 0 131 79
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(858): View more from California

just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.

Fav 0 29 8
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