Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
