we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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