i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
